I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
