Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
