Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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