The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
