Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
