Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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