I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
