The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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