alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
