the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
