So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my poor anus
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
