Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize