Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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