Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
