Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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