I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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