after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
