I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Drake has all the answers
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
