i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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