sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
