They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
