No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
