You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
