I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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