Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
