...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
50% drunk capacity currently
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
