I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My vagina is officially offended.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
