I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So. Much. Porn.
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