The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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