I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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