one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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