Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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