direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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