Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
