I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
