This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
