Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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