my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
