He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
