LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
