hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
