i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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