hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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