I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
