If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
