I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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