Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
