This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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