I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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