The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize