I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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