I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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