I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
