Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
