Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so let's talk penis.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize