I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
