you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
