I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
