It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
