they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my poor anus
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
