the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
