is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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