It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
