Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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