How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
